Nabila ignored the jokes and continued, “And this is a brain hook.”
She held up a rusty-looking metal rod with a hook at the end.
“A brain what-now?” asked Gordon.
“This would be used to scramble the brains in the head and then pull them out of the body before it was mummified,” Nabila responded.
“Ew,” said Ben, looking green again.
“Oh, stop it,” she said. “You’ve already blown enough chunks for one day—no more!”
She stared at the brain hook and looked lost for a moment.
“Nabila?” I asked. “Are you okay?”
She brought the hook up to her mouth, extended her tongue, and licked the very top of the hook.
“Uh …” Gordon said.
Nabila flicked her tongue back into her mouth, and her eyes focused again.
“Sorry,” she said. “After eating all those brains on the moon, I didn’t think I’d ever want any more. But I sort of miss the flavor, you know?”
When I was a kid, I was afraid of monsters. I knew that they were under my bed and in my closet. I just KNEW it. No matter what my mother and father said, I just KNEW it. One night at bedtime, before turning my lights off, my father pulled out a spray can from behind his back and handed it to me.
"What’s this?" I asked.
"Monster Be Gone," he said. "A few sprays under your bed and in the closets, and you won’t have to worry about the monsters any more."
"No way," I said.
"Yeah," he said.
Sure enough, a big white label wrapped around the can said MONSTER BE GONE.
What a relief! My father finally believed there were monsters in my room, AND he had the tool to defeat them.
We sprayed under the bed. We sprayed in the closets. We sprayed my room every night.
And there were no more monsters.
A few years later, when I was 8 years old or so, my grandmother was in her basement cleaning. I went down to help her, but she was already done. She was spraying a can of Lysol around the room with a final flourish.
I took in a big whiff.
"Huh," I said. "That smells exactly like Monster Be Gone."
And then it clicked.
My dad is clearly the greatest dad on earth.
Brain Burger Buffet
Mental Mummy Meat
Pharaoh’s Food For Thought
Curse of Brain Goo
Mummy Mind Munchers
Master Mind Munch
Book of the Brain Dead